No Cakewalk This.

Nobody likes to be reminded of their own human frailty. Especially when you can overlook personal raspberries and gape at another’s gaffes. Yet a rush to judgment is a race no one wins because you receive what you ultimately desire for others.

Pema Chodron, the Buddhist nun is fond of saying that being mad at someone and holding a grudge is like eating rat poison, thinking the rat will die. When someone yells at you, your gut reaction may be to yell back. You maybe right but that can get you in trouble and in many cases, may result in bad blood. Instead, try responding to the outcome. When an unsettling event happens, pause and ask yourself: what is outcome I want? Rather than reacting to the event, act in congruence with your desired outcome. The person who yelled at you: do you want an improved relationship with him or do you want to make him feel as bad as you do? If it's the latter, go ahead and yell back. But if it’s the former, empathize with his anger and respond to the underlying issue in a calm manner.

Easier said than done? Why not piss and vinegar? Some say, they can talk their way out of any situation and for a time they may be right. But if someone already dislikes you, either because of a simple misunderstanding or an error in judgment on your part, he or she will be really difficult to persuade with words. Their emotions will always get in the way of their ability to think logically and reasonably. Consistent actions over a sustained period of time, however, will usually persuade even the most diehard skeptic. If you chose to be polite and patient, it will be very hard for even your enemies to dislike you. In any case, you become a better person for having made the effort.

Duh, nobody really changes. Besides, no man can be comfortable with his own approval. You might argue, you don't have to raise your voice to seem yelling. There are many ways to inaudibly be aggressive: sending nasty emails, enlisting others to exert pressure, and escalating disputes to your boss, to name a few. Yelling, even when done quietly, betrays your frustration and anger, and certainly doesn't encourage real understanding or acceptance of your wishes. If you find yourself in a silent shouting match, restart and reframe the discussion. Take a step back and ask the other party to as well. Work backwards by asking questions like: What are our shared goals? What do we want to accomplish? From this defused place, you have a much better chance of making progress. Indeed look upon any man the way he is, he only becomes worse. But look at him as what he could be and he becomes what he should be - and that's pure magic!

Wash. Rinse. Repeat. This is your official notice.