Forget You Said It.

Once in a picayune moment, I created a site by the same name, where I implored the curious as follows.


***** 
Hi, 

I’m a person with emotions just like you.

All I want is for you to be able to say here anything you like, whatever matter is on your mind without any trepidation or fear of censure, criticism or comeback and totally rest assured no one – and trust me when I say no one - your family, relatives, in laws, parents, partner, spouse, kids, your ex, any man or woman you like/dislike, boy or girl you love or felt hurt by, friends, classmates, teacher, coach, supervisor, present or a potential boss, colleagues, employees, competitors, customers, fans, neighbors, casual acquaintances, random strangers you met/wished you had not met, your society, company, powers-that-be, country, electorate, media or any one you can possibly think of - will ever come to know of it! 


That is my promise.


Now, I’m simply here to listen. Not to judge. Think of this as your private confession box or personal sounding board where you are always welcome to rave and rant to your heart’s content, voice all your feelings openly and without apology, say exactly what you want without hesitation to whoever you want, about anything you wish to express or ever dreamt of saying.

                  
Just type in the box, hit send and forget you ever said it!


Mind you, I’m not trying to offer advice. I merely suggest; rather than saying or sending directly to whoever it concerns and what may haunt you, why not put it in the confidential box on this page and save yourself from pain, regret or embarrassment down the line? In fact, you don't even need to enter your ACTUAL email ID.


Is it not smarter to walk away by getting it off your chest anonymously or are you willing to hang your personal or professional image out to dry over something, that may well prove inconsequential and even laughable, five years down the line? So, feel free to say it now in as much detail or brevity you desire, to whoever you like with clearly no harm done and simply get over with it by exploring this option! Period.

I trust this explains and hope the site helps you in that respect and look forward to any feedback.

Best,

Your Confidant

********************


I next added a box on the page so anyone could anonymously type in whatever he or she chose with the aim to leave 'unsaid' the wrong thing at any tempting moment and well, let it go. Bada bing bada boom!

Although I have since pulled the site as I felt I was inviting potshots from my own family and friends, I also felt an open response would answer skeptics and anyone equally intrigued so one can acknowledge the reasoning. 

I say acknowledge as we confuse acknowledgement with acceptance. To acknowledge is not the same as to accept.  It simply suggests you respect someone else's opinion while politely maintaining your own. This alone can settle differences of opinion if any, as sometimes we refuse to acknowledge thinking it compromises our position but nothing could be further from truth. On the contrary, it addresses an oft-ignored human need of been listened to, even if one doesn't necessarily agree to the views and instantly opens the door to meaningful dialogue and improves the odds of reaching a conflict resolution, where previously there was none.

So, my motivation was just this. To help anyone safely vent out emotions without causing collateral damage. Ask yourself, how may times have you said or sent something that you wished you had not or prayed you were more circumspect and could have handled it differently? The irony is, as much as would like to believe, we are less about cut and dried logic and more about emotions especially in tricky circumstances. Most people and nations fight or fall apart and have across ages, as one either said something inappropriate or uncharitable to the other or accidentally touched a raw nerve even with the best of intentions or just the tone, that the other simply did not appreciate. 

Even if you feel indignant and is justified in saying it upfront, what good is it really if it blows up on the face or lands you in hot water or you lose credibility and worse, costs you a job, career or relationship? I have and I'm not exactly proud it. So, rather by saying to someone else, a complete stranger if you will, who offers to listen and will not react, we can let out pent up emotions or feelings and then decide if it is worth saying it out loud or not. Alternatively, we may also seek some degree of comfort in sharing random thoughts with no one in particular and forget about it, without speculating about what that person thought of it.

This site did not offer self-help in the traditional sense of the word as one too many sites around that already exist and run by accomplished teachers. Instead it merely helped you to redirect your emotions with causing harm to yourself or anyone else and allowing you unlimited chances to think it over. Even after that, if you still felt you need to say or send it out directly to whoever it concerns, please go ahead by all means but be absolutely sure about that first. You will have everything to gain and really nothing to lose by saying it anonymously for starters. If not anything else, you might feel safe. So, at best the site was cathartic and at worst, your virtual punching bag that did not cost a buck!

In my own experience, more often than not we are conscious deep down what to say but want to run it by someone first to put it clearly in perspective and it sounds ideal if we can achieve this without entering any argument or debate. On a lighter note, in social sites we sort of scream for attention and on this, you could keep it strictly confidential.

That said, it was merely my experiment with emotions or at the very least, trying to think through in a troubled and emotional moment (when we feel never more alone than when surrounded by dark moods that gather to throw us a pity party) and as any great teacher is wont to say; the moral is to fail early, fail often but see it as a feedback loop...